[spectre] Bombardement: vowels for bosnia!

Wim Langenhoff wim_langenhoff@hotmail.com
Mon, 19 Nov 2001 10:09:33 +0200


Cities of Sjlbvdnzv, Crzny to Be First Recipients

Before an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President Bush
announced US plans to deploy over 75,000 vowels to the war-torn region of
Bosnia. The deployment, the largest of its kind in American history, will
provide the region with the critically needed letters A, E, I, O and U, in
the hope of rendering countless Bosnian names more pronounceable.  'For six
years, we have stood by while names like Ygrjvslhv and Tzlynhr and Glrm have
been horribly butchered by millions around the world,' Bush said. Today, the
United States must finally stand up and say, "Enough." It is time the people
of Bosnia finally had some vowels in their words. The US is proud to lead
the crusade in this noble endeavour.' The deployment, dubbed 'Operation
Vowel Storm' by the State Department, is set for early next week, with the
Adriatic port cities of Sjlbvdnzv and Crzny slated to be the first
recipients. Two C-130 transport planes, each carrying over 500 24-count
boxes of 'E's,' will fly from Andrews Air Force Base across the Atlantic and
airdrop the letters over the cities. Citizens of Crzny and Sjlbvdnzv eagerly
await the arrival of the vowels. 'I do not think we can last another day,'
Trszg Crzdnjkln, 44, said. 'I have six children and none of them has a name
that is understandable to me or to anyone else. Mr. Bush, please send my
poor, wretched family just one "E." Please.' Said Sjlbvdnzv president Crg
Hmphrs, 67: 'With just a few key letters, I could be George Humphries. This
is my dream.' The airdrop represents the largest deployment of any letter to
a foreign country since 1984. During the summer of that year, the US shipped
92,000 consonants to Ethiopia, providing cities like Ouaouoaua, Eaoiiuae,
and Aao with vital, life-giving supplies of L's, S's and T's.

Wim Langenhoff
Strobloemstraat 15
T1 +31(0)402112523
T2 +31(0)402903590
F  +31(0)402903591
E w.langenhoff@bml.nl

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